Come As You Are
Once I was told by a yoga instructor that my shavasana was too big.
Side note: If you are not familiar with shavasana it is usually the final posture in a yoga asana practice. A final space to integrate the practice into mindfulness. You lie down on your mat, spread your legs to the width of the mat, allow feet to splay, tuck your chin in towards your chest, and bring your arms to your sides, palms up.
I guess I was taking up too much space on my yoga mat? Were my legs out too far? Were my arms too wide? I am not sure. My initial thought was, “I guess I am too much everywhere I go, even my mindfulness practice is coming off as too big… loud…aggressive.” Too muchness is a feeling I have internalized at one time or another, in every facet of my personal and professional life.
And I am usually a person that can pick up what others are putting down. As a yoga teacher and practitioner, I am open to reflection on my practice and teaching- that is kind of the point. I love when teachers correct my alignment, I am open to feedback when a peer attends my class… and tells me what worked and what didn’t, etc. But I thought shavasana was more of a sacred space, an autonomous time where I take responsibility for my own self-discovery.
Nonetheless, over the years I have done some shadow work on my “too muchness”, when it has and has not served me well. Above all, the lesson learned is I never wanted anyone else to feel alienated by me when I am the one responsible for creating a safe, supportive, and accepting environment.
Kurt Cobain might have captured the duality of this experience best in his song, “Come as You Are.” Here is a snapshot of the lyric’s sans the chorus and a verse:
“Come as you are, as you were As I want you to be As a friend, as a friend As an old enemy Take your time, hurry up Choice is yours, don't be late Take a rest as a friend…Come doused in mud, soaked in bleach As I want you to be…”
It is said Cobain made the lyrics contradictory and confusing on purpose, to foster contemplation. With the duality being that even though individuals may preach unconditional acceptance, that is not always the case.
You might ask how this relates to the upcoming Yoga-45 Retreat? The short answer is that the Awake hosts mean it, we really want you to COME AS YOU ARE.
But there is a longer answer…and that is we know everyone is coming from a different place. Showing up with varying stressors, demands, and preferences; coupled with distinct genetics, relational dynamics, and influences. We would never try to sell you a cookie cutter solution to rest and resilience. We only want to offer support, practices, recreation, and reflection to explore what your personal values and inclinations are surrounding these topics.
As you experience the Awake: Rest & Resilience Retreat we hope you feel seen and respected in terms of time, investment, and energy. That is why we offer experiential activities like yoga, art, nature hikes, sacred circles, and journaling time and freedom to do as you wish. With “extra” amenities sprinkled in (e.g., sauna, massage, astrological chart reading, and personal sound healing). You are empowered to tailor this retreat to your personal needs (with basic requests for communal courtesies and politeness).
Please reach out if you have any questions on retreat details, plus I have some closing thoughts on this idea of “being too XXXX” you fill in the adjective.
One of the definitions of too is:
“to an excessive extent or degree; beyond what is desirable, fitting, or right.”
I hope you never feel “too” anything (in a negative sense), especially at an Awake Retreat.
Mary, Amy and I only wish you feel:
-wanted
-that the possibilities are endless
-a knowing that you are exceptional in all the ways you desire to be exceptional and
-permission to simply be “as you are.”